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Everyone have a button to push that will set him/her off. To know the vulnerable spots is a natural part of interpersonal dynamics. For me, I know clearly that I will get really angry when someone is trying to blame me for some wrong-doing or bad situation, when I feel that he/she is in fact the one who should be responsible, especially when I am trying to help to rectify the situation. I will confront the person directly instead of suppressing my anger in such a case. This usually will scare the person off out of sudden as I believe I’m always being perceived as “nice and well-tempred” (hope my friends agree with it?). I wonder if expressing anger in such a way is wrong?

Below is a brief summary that I extracted from an Anger Management FAQ:

Many of us were taught that it’s ‘bad’ to feel angry and that being angry is always wrong. Some people are uncomfortable with the expression of anger and can feel intimated by anger, even if it’s expressed in an appropriate manner. Some may think “nice” people won’t get angry, which of course, is not true. 

Being angry isn’t a bad or negative thing. It motivates people to listen to your concerns and prevent others from walking all over you. Expressing yourself in an assertive (not an aggressive) manner is the healthiest way to handling anger. Suppressing is a passive approach that isn’t really healthy. The danger is that you may not protect yourself when the need arises. Excessive suppression may lead to health problems such as headaches, stress, depression and high blood pressure.

From this, I think it is crucial for us to understand how to express our anger and to be more open to others for expressing his/her anger. Maybe the western culture have an upperhand compare to us here. I have always heard that “ang moh”s can argue like no tomorrow in the morning but yet sit together for teabreak again in the late afternoon. Maybe they are more acceptable to the concept that expression of anger is a normal and positive behaviour?

P/S: Hope I’m not stereotyping here.